How to Know if a Guy Is Playing You or Really Likes You
Sometimes, yous run across someone, and you simply click. You feel like y'all've been besties your unabridged life and honestly can't believe in that location was a time when you didn't fifty-fifty know they existed. So, in that location's those other relationships that accept a little more work—i.e., how information technology feels like pulling teeth to learn annihilation about your brother-in-law. While you might never be BFFs with your BIL, there is a trick yous can apply to get him to open up up a niggling more.
Terri Orbuch, PhD, author of 5 Simple Steps to Have Your Union from Good to Great , says getting to know someone starts with the "latitude questions"—remember: impersonal simply of import biographical info about a person's family, their career, and if they're unmarried or married, for example. (Although if y'all're request these q's of your BIL... you lot should probably definitely know the reply to that final 1.)
Tamekis Williams, LCSW, founder of Mission Dorothy Female Empowerment Services, adds that you want to ask open-concluded questions that will allow the other person to elaborate, instead of questions that can be answered with a simple "yeah" or "no."
After all, if you really want to get to know someone beyond the surface level, yous've got to dig deeper. "Topics that become at the other person'due south inner earth—their thoughts, goals, and dreams—will strengthen and increase bonding betwixt two people," Orbuch notes. "Sharing personal information strengthens whatsoever relationship, and deeper questions focus on that personal self-disclosure."
Btw, that's a two-manner street, adds Williams. "When initially coming together someone, information technology is important to be inviting and warm and so that the other person tin can initially feel comfortable talking with y'all."
On that note, Williams suggests taking a careful approach in your questions, every bit you don't want the other person to experience like you're violating their privacy. Questions you should probably steer clear of early on: "Democrat or Republican?" "Practice y'all own or rent?" and "What is your organized religion or spiritual belief?".
There are other ways to bypass small talk and acquire more in-depth info about the other person, says Williams. "You can become the answers [you're looking for] by sometimes answering those questions yourself while sharing about you. An example would look like: 'I just moved to Georgia last yr and found a beautiful community that I fell in love with and purchased a home. What nearly you, do you love where you lot alive?'"
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With a little patience, you'll become manner closer with the person y'all're just getting to know in no time. Here are 200 not-dull questions to get y'all started:
"Asking someone about their preferences helps y'all to empathize who they are as a person," says Rebecca Hendrix, a therapist in New York. The of import thing here is to go deeper past request follow-upwards questions. For example, "If you find out they like dogs, take it a bit deeper by request them what they similar most about their dog or their favorite breed," Hendrix explains.
"Commonalities oftentimes open up the door for farther conversation and, once that door is open up, y'all can kickoff a dialogue that allows the other person to elaborate and not requite shut-ended answers," Williams adds.
Some other ideas:
ane. What's your favorite mode to spend a solar day off?
2. What type of music are you into?
iii. What was the best vacation you ever took and why?
four. Where'due south the next place on your travel bucket list and why?
5. What are your hobbies, and how did you get into them?
6. What was your favorite age growing up?
7. What was the last thing you read?
eight. Would yous say you lot're more of an extrovert or an introvert?
9. What'southward your favorite ice cream topping?
10. What was the final Telly prove y'all binge-watched?
eleven. Are you into podcasts or do yous only listen to music?
12. Do you have a favorite holiday? Why or why non?
13. If you could simply eat one food for the residual of your life, what would information technology exist?
14. Do you like going to the movies or prefer watching at home?
15. What's your favorite sleeping position?
sixteen. What'southward your go-to guilty pleasure?
17. In the summer, would you rather go to the beach or become camping?
18. What'south your favorite quote from a Telly show/moving picture/book?
xix. How old were you when you had your showtime celebrity crush, and who was information technology?
20. What'due south one affair that can instantly brand your day better?
21. Do you have any pet peeves?
22. Which meal is your favorite: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?
23. What vocal always gets y'all out on the trip the light fantastic toe floor?
24. When you were a kid, did you swallow the crusts on your sandwich or non?
25. What activeness instantly calms y'all?
26. Ideally, how would you spend your birthday?
27. What exercise you do on your commute to/from work?
28. Are you a fan of musicals—why or why not?
29. What'south your favorite season and why?
xxx. What's the best joke you've ever heard?
Questions tin assistance deepen any relationship, but you should never have to ask these ones if you're in a healthy relationship:
31. What's the telephone app y'all use well-nigh?
32. Would you rather cook or order in?
33. Accept your ever disliked something and and then changed your mind?
34. What's your favorite lath game?
35. How do you take your coffee?
36 What's your almost prized possession and why?
37. Is there any product that you couldn't live without?
38. Do y'all slumber with a peak sheet? Why or why non?
39. If y'all could take any exotic animal as a pet, which would it be?
twoscore. What would exist the first thing you lot'd do if you won the lottery?
41. What's your favorite way to unwind?
42. How exercise you enjoy spending your alone time?
43. What's the best concert you lot've ever been to?
44. Do you lot accept a favorite type of exercise?
45. What causes are you passionate about?
46. What'south something y'all're excited almost right now?
47. What's your favorite content genre (horror, sci-fi, rom-com, etc.)?
48. What's an essential part of your daily routine?
49. What's the best gift yous've always received?
fifty. What's the worst gift you've ever received, and what did yous practice most it?
No matter how a person feels virtually his or her task, the fact is, tons of people spend a lot of time and energy at work. To help y'all become to know someone ameliorate, "facilitate a conversation where you are left knowing how they feel virtually their career," Hendrix says.
Just prepare yourself to return that openness when they enquire the aforementioned of you and your piece of work life. "Initial conversations set the tone for if the person wants to keep to become to know yous, then exist ready to answer some questions likewise," Williams says.
Endeavor out these convo-starters:
51. If y'all could cull your own work schedule, would y'all?
52. Is there one job yous'd never ever do?
53. What's the first matter you lot practise after getting home from work?
54. Who or what inspires you lot in your career?
55. How do yous approach taking time off from work?
56. What'due south something an outsider wouldn't know about your industry?
57. Do you take a morning routine at work? If so, what it's similar?
58. What's your commute to piece of work like?
59. Are you lot able to work from domicile, and if and so, do you enjoy it?
sixty. Do you lot go forth with all your coworkers?
61. What'due south your favorite affair about your current chore?
62. What annoys you most?
63. What'south the career highlight you're most proud of?
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64. Do you think y'all'll stay in your current gig awhile? Why or why non?
65. What type of function practice you desire to have on afterward this one?
66. Are you more of a "work to alive" or a "live to work" type of person?
67. Does your task make you experience happy and fulfilled? Why or why non?
68. How would your x-year-old cocky react to what you do now?
69. What do you remember almost about your first job?
70. How sometime were yous when y'all started working?
71. What'due south the worst job y'all've always had?
72. What originally got you interested in your current field of work?
73. Have you ever had a side hustle or considered having one?
74. What's your favorite part of the workday?
75. What's the best career decision y'all've ever made?
76. What's the worst career decision you've ever made?
77. Do you consider yourself good at networking?
78. What career advice would you lot give to your younger cocky?
79. Do you lot believe in having a "five-year plan"?
80. How do you split up your work life from your home life?
81. When volition you know you've "made it"?
82. Are you looking forward to retiring, or practice yous program to work as long every bit possible?
83. Accept yous ever had "imposter syndrome"?
84. What do you lot remember about workaholics?
85. What qualities exercise you look for in a boss?
86. Practise you have a professional mentor? If not, do you want one?
87. What energizes you about your career?
88. Are you into afterward-piece of work happy hours?
89. How do you motivate yourself in your career?
ninety. What'south the all-time career advice you lot've ever heard?
91. What's the worst career communication you've ever received?
92. When you started your current job, what well-nigh surprised you?
93. How do you option yourself support later making a mistake at work?
94. How do you bargain with work stress?
95. Exercise yous take a piece of work bestie?
96. What's ane work-related thing you want to attain in the next year?
97. Who has had the biggest impact on your career pick?
98. What does your family think of your career?
99. What'southward the best matter you've learned in your current position?
100. If you could do it all over again, would yous pursue the same career? Why or why not?
A great fashion to get to know someone on a more than personal level? Learn about the people they love. "Request questions about close relationships can lead to stories, and sharing stories leads to connection and an experience of beingness seen by one another," Hendrix explains. Try:
101. How much time do you spend with your family unit?
102. Who do you most like spending fourth dimension with and why?
103. Which family member makes the all-time food?
104. How has your stance of your family unit changed over the years?
105. If you're shut with your family, what's the hardest part most spending time away from them?
106. Do y'all wish you had a bigger family unit, or are you happy with its current size?
107. Which family member has had the greatest impact on y'all?
108. What does your family's last proper name mean? (Look it up if you don't know!)
109. Who's the best gift-giver in your family unit?
110. What's your favorite story well-nigh your grandparents?
111. Have you ever mapped out your family tree?
112. Were y'all close with your family growing upwards?
113. How do you define your family now?
114. What traits are most of import to you in your family members?
115. Who in your family unit makes you lot feel the safest?
116. Do you desire a family of your own?
117. Have you lot always been to a family unit reunion?
118. If you lot could modify your relationship with a family unit member, would y'all? If so, with whom?
119. What was it like growing upward as the youngest/oldest/eye/simply child?
120. Does your family ever accept trips together?
121. What's your favorite family unit memory?
122. What Tv family most reminds you of your own?
123. Do yous ever wish you were raised differently?
124. What's the all-time slice of advice a family fellow member has given you lot?
125. Do you wish you had more than siblings? If and then, why?
126. Did you lot ever hide anything from or lie to your parents?
127. If yous had a family business, what would it be?
128. Do y'all and your family take any nicknames for each other?
129. What's your favorite way to spend time with your family?
130. How exercise you show your family yous love them?
131. What'south your favorite family tradition?
132. What's the most important holiday you spend with your family and why?
133. Who in your family would you describe as a "character"?
134. How practise you feel most family unit events?
135. What's something your family would exist surprised to acquire about you?
136. Which family unit member practice you confide in most?
137. How do you lot deal with arguments between family members?
138. If yous have children, how exercise you want to raise them?
139. What'south more important: family or friends?
140. Practice you take any friends y'all would consider family?
141. Has your family always pressured you to act a certain way?
142. Did you ever become to encounter your great-grandparents?
143. What personality traits do you share with your relatives?
144. What concrete traits do you share with your relatives?
145. What stories did your family members tell you growing up?
146. How did your parents (and/or grandparents) meet?
147. What makes you proud of your family?
148. Who's the newest member of your family unit?
149. What tin always bring your family together?
"In learning about someone'south values, you are learning about their possessor's transmission," Hendrix explains. Even seemingly mundane questions tin become at a person's values—like what's motivating them to do well on a presentation or what they wait for in an S.O.
"By learning about someone'due south life philosophy, you lot're able to get at their true essence, how they live their life, and what drives their actions," Orbuch adds.
That said, you tin can't just ask, "What are your values?". What you can ask:
150. What do you think makes someone a "good person"?
151. Do you believe in love at first sight?
152. How practise you evidence kindness to others?
153. Do you believe in soulmates? Why or why not?
154. What do you wait for in a friendship?
155. How do your daily priorities reverberate your overall values in life?
156. Do you believe fourth dimension you enjoy wasting is non wasted time?
157. What life lessons accept you had to learn the hard way?
158. Do you believe what is meant for you will never miss you?
159. Have you ever experienced true love, and how did you know?
160. What's a human relationship deal breaker for you lot?
161. If you lot had just i sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), which would you want?
162. Do you volunteer at all?
163. What makes you feel at peace?
164. What are you most proud of in the last yr?
165. What makes you experience almost accomplished?
166. Who do you admire nigh in the world?
167. Would you rather make more coin doing a chore you detest or less doing ane you dearest?
168. Which of your personality traits are you most proud of?
169. What's the kickoff thing you lot await for in a partner and/or friend?
170. How has your perspective on the world inverse over time?
171. Do you live by any piece of advice or motto?
172. How tin someone earn your trust?
173. How can someone lose your trust?
174. Would you lot rather someone be honest and hurt your feelings or lie to protect them?
175. If yous could snap your fingers and instantly make the earth better, what would you do?
176. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?
177. Have you ever lost a friend? If so, what happened?
178. If you could only teach i matter to your (hereafter) child, what would information technology be?
179. What's the scariest affair you've ever done, and why did you do information technology?
180. Do you believe in second chances?
181. Where do you get your news?
182. What is your biggest irrational fearfulness?
183. Are you lot active on social media, or do you lot prefer to exist more private?
184. What is your definition of success?
185. Are you lot an organ donor, and how did y'all come to that determination?
186. Do you believe you should do i thing a day that scares you?
187. What, if anything, exercise you lot think happens after death?
189. What line should someone never cross with you?
190. How do yous ascertain dazzler?
191. Exercise y'all believe in life on other planets?
192. How practice y'all interact with someone who disagrees with you?
"These questions get at what the person is motivated by," says Orbuch. "What gives them the strength to wake upwardly every day and get going? What do they dream and call up most in their day?" When you learn virtually someone's dreams, you share something more intimate. Jumpstart a deep chat past asking this:
193. Exercise you lot think our dreams have hidden meanings?
194. When you want to give upwardly, what keeps you going?
195. Do you live past any words of wisdom?
196. What's the outset step y'all take in trying to achieve a new goal?
197. How practise y'all turn a "no" into a "yep"?
198. What practise yous practice to overcome a personal setback?
199. Is it piece of cake for you to accept assist in achieving your dreams?
200. If you could do anything, also what you're doing now, what would you do?
201. What do yous regret non doing in the last yr?
202. What'due south on your bucket listing?
203. If you had unlimited money to start your ain business, what would it be?
204. If you found out today was your last day on Earth, what would you lot do?
205. If you could alive anywhere in the world, where would it exist?
206. If you could relive ane moment in your life, which would it be?
207. If you had the opportunity to be immortal, would y'all have information technology?
208. Which famous person in history would you want to spend the day with?
209. If you lot could time travel, when and where would yous go?
210. Do you remember you'll likely accomplish all your dreams?
211. If you could magically go famous, would you want to?
212. A genie gives you 3 wishes—what are they?
Sometimes the oddball questions allow you lot to acquire the virtually interesting things nearly a person. "Unusual questions let you to run across the varied, unique, and special qualities of a person—their answers give you lot personal information virtually what makes them tick," Orbuch says. "These questions likewise typically become the other person to think outside box and actually ponder something."
Merely y'all however want to keep things PG, says Williams. "Exist careful with asking questions of a sexual nature too early," she advises. Aforementioned goes for the unconventional-for-a-reason q's, a.k.a. annihilation related to some other person's finances, but especially questions about child support, debt, and credit score.
Ask these ~unconventional~ questions, and yous'll definitely get some interesting (in a practiced way!) answers:
213. Do you believe in ghosts—why or why non? (Bonus question: If so, are you agape of ghosts?)
214. Do you lot accept whatever special skills?
215. Are you double-jointed?
216. What's your game plan in a zombie apocalypse?
217. Can you write in cursive?
218. If y'all could live in a movie, which one would it be and why?
219. What'due south your "dance like nobody'due south watching" song?
220. Practise y'all sing in the shower?
221. Are y'all skillful at solving puzzles?
222. How many hours do you get to the airdrome before a flight?
223. Can you say your ABCs backwards?
224. If you see a puddle on the footing, practise you walk effectually it or over it?
225. If you could have a super power, what would it be?
226. If you could go back to anytime in history, where would y'all go?
227. If you came back in your next life as an animal, what animal would yous be?
228. If yous got to name a new country, how would yous decide what to call it?
229. What would exist the title of your memoir?
230. Do yous hit the snooze button or wake up immediately?
231. What's the outset thing yous practise in the morning?
232. What's the last thing you do at dark?
233. Practice you believe in whatever conspiracy theories (no judgement)?
234. Practise you think iced java should only be consumed in the summertime or all year circular?
235. Would you lot rather be covered in fur or covered in scales?
236. What'southward your idea of a perfect date (yes, of the calendar yr)?
237. What's the most unusual place yous've fallen comatose?
238. At a party, where can someone find y'all?
239. Practice you launder your legs in the shower?
240. Who would play you in the movie of your life?
241. When making a PB&J sandwich, practice you put on the peanut butter or jelly first?
242. Exercise you have whatsoever allergies?
243. Practise yous trust your own retention? Why or why not?
244. Which fictional character practise you relate to most?
245. What, if annihilation, would brand you walk out in the middle of a movie?
246. When was the final time you cried and why?
247. What's your most controversial stance nigh something mundane?
248. Exercise yous "stan" any celebrities?
249. What's your become-to midnight snack?
250. What was your all-time favorite Halloween costume?
251. What's the weirdest affair you exercise when you lot're lonely?
252. Do you have any recurring dreams?
253. What's the silliest argument you lot've always been in?
254. What'southward the worst argument y'all've always been in?
255. What's your stance on modern art?
256. What'south the virtually ridiculous outfit you've e'er worn?
257. If you could ain a mythical brute (unicorn, phoenix, etc.), which one would you option?
258. Would yous rather have your dishes or dress be magically clean?
259. What'southward your favorite story most yourself?
260. If you could alter anything most yourself, would y'all? If so, what and why?
"Anytime you reveal personal information to someone else, information technology increases intimacy between you lot and the other person," says Orbuch. And so let downwardly your guard, and don't be afraid to ask (and reply!) these deep questions.
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Source: https://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/a22500573/questions-to-ask-to-get-to-know-someone/
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